MTV's Beneath

Can you guess what I'm about to say? I watched the film before realizing it was a product of MTV. Normally, I would hit myself in the head with a hammer, thus saving the time this movie took to destroy the same amount of my brain. Perhaps for MTV a new standard has been set, since I only feel like a single frontal lobe was lost.

Cinematography and directing? There's nothing to mention except that the director resisted the quick-change, odd-angle editing reminiscent of music videos. As such, the pace of the film was not the horror one might expect (Get it? Horror?). Similarly, none of the performances were singularly redeeming. Altogether, though, certain questionable flaws and useless scenes made areas of the plot deflating at best.

As for that plot, there was a touch of suspense. Once you figure it out, the writers try to throw in some plot twists. What became annoying were the stacked alternative endings. When you think you've reached the story's resolution, the film tries to one-up it. It becomes exhausting as several climaxes and wholly contrived twists robbed me of the elation that the film finally ended.

Because I was in such a good mood before watching this film, and because I was hammered by the end of it, I give it a 5 outta 10. Mostly, I believe the marketing must rely on teenage boys' misplaced expectations that the almost-cute heroine might divulge some nudity. In sum, without beer or raging hormones, I don't know why anyone would attempt to last through the entire film. But give it a shot, masochists…