Primeval

Has anyone seen the campy '70s flics based on the old urban legend of man-eating crocodiles in NY sewers? Here it is again! Right? No. Really, this is just a remake of parts of The Ghost and the Darkness with the lions replaced by a large crocodile. Initially, potential audience members should realize that this isn't a horror film. Nor is it based in suspense. Most of it is a social commentary about tribes in Africa, corrupt governmental participants, and lack of affirmative involvement by other nations. But Sally Struthers already made us aware of that, right? …And only for a dollar a day.

Apparently, a man-eating croc is plaguing tribes along a waterway in Africa. Two reporters are sent to investigate while civil wars rage across the plains. The male reporter is the typical pretty boy, American stereotype (Manfrey). Essentially, he's just the superficial metrosexual waiting to learn a valuable lesson about the value of people. The female reporter is another stereotype, a pretty girl with the nice figure who wants the world to learn compassion (Langton). Therefore, she picked up a pen to change the world by talking while berating others for only talking about problems instead of acting. What a saint. Unfortunately, the two take their time to learn lessons about compassion… and taking action… and hypocrisy… and how if everyone in the world held hands, they would not be able to hold guns.

The conflicts arise only after a gruelingly long first act. Tribes are factioned and rulers gain power with brutal, iron fist politics. Thus, we have reporters versus warlords. The croc eats people, so we also have everyone versus the croc. But the scenery was nice in places. The acting was okay. The social commentary is old news. The worst part of the entire, damnable thing is that I chose a film expecting to get a reptilian croc (instead of this crock of $&%#). I wait forever through old-hat, social expose to get a couple of glimpses of a croc. I was defrauded. If you like PBS programs on tribal relations and politics (but not culture or the histories-- human and ecological-- that lead to such relations), then the movie is almost good. If you want what the DVD cover and summary offer, go get The Ghost and the Darkness and then watch Crocodile. I give this film a 4 outta 10.